You know there is a difference between, “Loving someone and being in love with someone”. Growing up, I believed that this concept was only applied to relationships of the romantic variety, but I was sadly mistaking. If, you follow me then you know that I have been on a journey of healing which has been so tumultuous, but the most important but daunting task has been learning to love myself truly without condition.
It is so crazy when I think back because I not it has me questioning every time I said “I love you” to someone how much truth was behind it. I mean really can you love someone, I mean truly love someone if you are not truly in love with yourself. Don’t get me wrong I love me, I think I am very special person but I am not in love with myself which is where I am currently sitting but through therapy and prayer I am surely getting there.
Here are a few tools I have put into my self love toolbox:
· You do not owe anyone anything except to be best version of yourself.
o At times we feel like we are obligated to there and deal with the extra baggage that people hand us because they may have helped you out or was there for you in some way but if what they did was not done from the heart then let them charge it to the game because you do not owe anyone your peace of mind
· It is okay to go against the grain.
o Just because no one you know has done it does not mean that you shouldn’t. The sun does not stop shining because people complain about the heat or the brightness and neither should you.
· It is okay to restart.
o I have done this recently because sometimes we slip back into our comfort zone because its familiar but once you realize that the familiar can also stop your progression you may need to restart.
· Trim Your Own Family/Friend Tree
o “I trim my own family tree”, I heard my uncle say this when I was like thirteen year and it became my mantra but, on my journey, to fall in love with myself it became more prominent in my life. It is perfectly ok to cut off dead branches because if you keep them, they will destroy your tree of life. So, I have truly learned how to love from a distance,
· Fix your face.
o If you do not like what you see when you look in the mirror, fix it. I am not in know promoting plastic surgery but if putting on makeup, a new wig, fixing your teeth and loosing or gaining weight will make you feel good, then go for it. 2019 is definitely my year of transformation.
· UNMASK
o You can fall in love with someone you don’t know so take some alone time to get to know who you are and what bring you true joy and peace.
Let me know if it helps and share some of your self love tools